51 Weeks to Go (Pilot Post)

Greetings, from Sydney Australia! It's currently 22 degrees Celcius and rainy, so I am thinking I will stay in today. I did meet some new friends, Jane and Greg, for brunch/coffee earlier and even did some grocery shopping, hiking the two-ish kilometers home from the shoppes, so really, I kind of did have an outing today. I must say though that I really miss living directly across from a grocery store! 

I arrived in Sydney a week ago today, last Saturday, actually, almost exactly a week ago today to the hour. Sleeping almost the entire flight and waiting until a decent hour to go to bed contributed to just two days of jet lag. By Monday I was out and about! I returned "home" at the end of the day with a sunburn. Apparently re-application of sunscreen is a must here! 

The past week actually flew by. I spent a couple days wandering around the CBD (Sydney's downtown), navigating the area at which I am staying (finding bus stops, train station, grocery store, etc.), setting up necessary things, researching things to do, and of course, applying for jobs.

I met with a recruitment agent the other day and had a bit of a discussion with one of my Australian rents about what I want to do. With the prior, I caught myself at that point in the conversation where you express eagerness...for jobs I don't find interesting. Because I am suppose to be eager, aren't I? In a previous personality I had done jobs that made me miserable, which I only realized the extent of the hatred for when out in the streets, almost hoping a truck would run me over so that I wouldn't have to go to work. Or, thinking that falling up/down the escalator would give me an out. With the latter, good intentions were trying to help me focus my job search, providing me with advice, and I had to admit to her that I didn't want to follow her advice because it was stuff I already knew and yet wasn't going to do not because I am lazy but because I ultimately don't know what I want to do. To zoom in on the micro before understanding the macro is something I need to be careful about. And it's not so much that I'm indecisive (I am, I know) but that I simply don't know what I am doing...in life.

Today at brunch, Jane said to me (cue Aussie accent) "Well, what are you doing? You have to choose, you can't do everything, you know." So what am I doing?

I thought about it on the way home after saying bye to Jane and Greg. I don't know what I am doing because I don't have a mission!

Summer after junior high, I became depressed because I didn't know what I was doing or why I even existed. And then I discovered that there is a God. That's when I became aware that I do have a purpose, even if I don't know what it is, because God wouldn't have created me for no reason: I use a lot of resources, both material and non-material, particularly of other peoples' time/emotions. I wouldn't even create me for no reason :)

And so what am I doing? Well for this year I will: Learn. Push. Expand my personality portfolio and comfort zone. 

So even though I don't know what I'm doing, it is okay, because God has His reasons. I just have to be ready! Each day is training for ___________! <-- whatever that is. I've gone through the years knowing that one thing leads to another, so it makes sense that if I keep learning, pushing and expanding my personality-portfolio and my comfort zone, maybe I'll discover my passion and figure out my mission and be trained and ready to take it on. And if I don't, at least I'll have lived an interesting [and fun] life! 

Leaping out of my familiar Calgary comfort zone was probably a good start. I love Sydney so far! And in other news, a tenant will be paying my mortgage for the next six months, starting today. AWESOME!!